so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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