Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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