I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize