he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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