your parents love me but you hate me
please come you make the beer taste better
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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