Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
high people should be assigned attendants
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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