obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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