He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
