somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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