this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You did what with his pubic hair?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
