Will you blow on my dice?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
