Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
