I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
