Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
