I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
