Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
