When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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