Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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