I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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