so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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