I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
