i permit you to call me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
