dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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