dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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