I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
