wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I came so hard my ears popped.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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