Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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