I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
