It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
