They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
