Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
