Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
