rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
