You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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