Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
