It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize