Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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