i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
now i know why i became what i already was.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
