I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
