I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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