It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
