I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
