I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
