would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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