Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
