so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
