If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
