did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize