is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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