She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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