Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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