I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
