Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
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i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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