facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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