found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
