remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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