Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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