Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I got chris browned last night
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
