we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
