Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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