no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
