im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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