I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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