We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
