She said her name was "party"
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
