shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
